Showing posts from March, 2012

Ladder or wheel?

I am new in town, and I asked someone for help. He is someone who I have worked with, and someone who I thought respected my work. I wasn't sure if I was a fit for the gig he could have hooked me up with, so I asked. I would like to tell you that asking for help is a sign of strength, but I didn't like doing it very much. The person didn't respond to my inquiries, at all, and I got mad. I did something mildly provocative to get him to talk with me, which worked. He told me that since he wasn't putting me forward for this gig, he didn't need to reply, because there is "nothing to tell." I suggested that not replying at all seems to me to be unprofessional and discourteous, and he responded with a subtle threat, saying that being insulting "wasn't going to help my situation."

This is the ladder. He has climbed to a certain height, and he sees the world as above him or below him. He can't really reach down to help me, because he needs both …


I am ready to start.

I'm thinking of doing a mellow background jazz set at a fabulous bistro. I have at least one singer picked out to start a 3-girl group with, and a name, and a bunch of songs for that. I have the possibility of gigging with The Blondes in Chicago, after several years. I have a place picked out for a cabaret songs-and-stories gig, if I can figure out who the hell there will actually answer emails and phone calls.

It might be my lost mojo, at least temporarily returned to me. Why I'm finally getting it back is because of how hurt I let myself get by the Bad Church Experience. What can I say? I'm human. I'm healing. Time has helped, and distance. A new church, stuffed full of people I love and can trust, is helping me tremendously.