When I was single, as a grownup, my friends and I came to realize that meeting someone, liking someone, feeling hopeful, talking, messaging, maybe even going out once, were no guarantee. So we stopped telling our friends. Because when you're 11 (or, in my case, 33), it's fun to talk to your bff for hours about what it meant, really meant, when he said "see ya later" or "I like that song too." But then when your friends ask you a week later "so did he call?" and (in my case), he didn't, it got old. Because, really, there was nothing to tell, so I stopped telling. I was just looking for someone to hope with me.

When I was infertile, a good friend said that she would hold hope for me, because when you hope and then are disappointed, it's like the hope burned you; and you get to the point where you wish you could just stop hoping. But you can't. I've tried. I'm grateful that my infertility ended, and no waiting-for-music-business-news type of situation can touch the deeply personal grief and desperation of IVFs 1-5. #6 was the winner.

The important thing to remember, and if anyone reads this, please remind me that the important thing to remember is that I have these things even being considered. 1) A country song (amazingly) is in the hands of a song plugger who is doing whatever they do - pitching it? thinking about pitching it? trying to get the meeting where he will pitch it? sitting around with his friends playing it and saying "what was she thinking?" I don't know. Anyway, he's a respected song plugger, and I pitched it to him and he "took" it. The Eskimos have 50 words for snow and the music biz has at least that many for "maybe." So there's that. 2) An A-and-R person from a Major Label has that country song, too, and she may or may not be doing the above, or her people, maybe. My song is a fit for the band I pitched it for, (I think) and she shot down a couple of other songs of mine within 24 hours, so she isn't on vacation. 3) that same song has gotten through the NSAI gauntlet to "recommended" status, which I don't get excited about but it's a nice corroboration from a very non-affirming source.

The amazingness of this can't be overstated. Well, it can, but I'll try not to. Because the country music industry has not thrown its doors open to me. They engage in the most shell games, the most "we liked that yesterday but we hate it now" or that guy thinks it's too serious but that other guy says it's too light hearted and the third guy thinks the Ford should be a Chevy. Suddenly a song I wrote by myself is past the troll under the first bridge.

That's been going on for about 2 weeks. In addition, a couple of songs of mine are being pitched for a cable TV show; these are different songs, songs that the sync people seem to love but haven't placed yet. Yet. This is the second specific pitch for a specific show (that I know of), and it's really encouraging. Thanks, Broadjam. Broadjam rules because they show you which songs get picked for pitches, so when I'm not chosen I can see who is, and learn from that. Bonus: when my songs are chosen, the world gets to see. Which I like, because me.

Some of these might yield a "pass" or some other kind of final answer. Some might just wither and die out there. I have ways of stalking (I call it "research"), like following the artist on Twitter. Artists can be counted on to tweet that they have been in the studio "cutting amaaazing songs" or "writing with amaaazing writers" which tells me that mine wasn't chosen.

Back in my single days I learned that sometimes good news happens fast. When I was sitting around wondering what some guy really meant when he said "see ya later," some other girl wasn't wondering anything because he was taking her out, three days after he met her. If a man wants to call he will. (not now, of course, #toolatesuckas) If somebody wants to cut my song they will. The best response, to everything, is always to be working on the next great song.


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