The Summer of Off

I did a few gigs earlier this year. Wasn't happy with my performance, although it had its moments. Not gigging means I get rusty - not just at playing, singing, grabbing the right chords, remembering to bring the right cords (so important) for my gear. But also, I was rusty at being human. Live performance isn't ever perfect, and I have to let it go. Be one with the wind and sky. By the time school ended (when you have a kid, school rules your calendar), I had taken a trip to San Francisco (terrible weather), gone backpacking (terrible), sang a choral concert while producing the live recording and video of it (came out really well), and came to believe my life was unmanageable. Too many writing projects, too much ambition, too much time angst. Everything I do, I think I should be doing something else with that time. Meanwhile, my house is a wreck. Too many belongings. So I took the summer off from: writing songs, gigging, writing other stuff, everything. Instead I cleaned out a room that had become a dumping ground, took a bike trip to Scotland, and got ready for my second knee replacement surgery (in two days). Oh, and lost 30 pounds. That's a whole other post. The knee is so painful and useless, I can't believe I've done what I've done. The knee has one job, which is to bend, and mine is really bad at its job right now. It's funny that actually pedaling a bike is great for the knee. It's just the everything else. So it's time for that, and then I'll have the soul-crushing pain and difficult rehab. But then it will be done. In the aftermath of knee surgery, I'll still be off for several weeks. I've enjoyed the off so far, this part of it will be less enjoyable. But it's nice to do one thing at a time.